Wednesday

Really struggling at the moment. Lethargy has sunk in with the eating and excercise. I know, I know, I know. I can hear you all chuntering away!

You’re disappointed, I’m disappointed (read angry), I am telling myself all the right things but studiously ignoring everything I’m saying.

The only thing I’m not letting slide is the job hunting. I physically can’t do any more than I’m doing. I know it’s early days, but no-one is beating a path to my door at the moment and this is worrying. There is a deadline to get work before me and my family have some seriously life changing (not in a good way) decsicions to make.

But this shouldn’t be affecting my food or excercise. What is the matter with me? As I’ve said before I’m certain this is a sympton of some sort of eating/lethargy mental illness. Here I am starting to do negative stuff to myself, in full knowledge I shouldn’t be doing it and yet I still am.

Get a fucking grip you twat!